Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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