if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
