He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
