My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
