so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
