Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
