he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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