The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize