Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
