dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
