we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
