respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
