i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
