Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
