my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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