When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Randomize
