I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I will be naked everywhere
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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