idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
