your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
