Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize