he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
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I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
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I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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