remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize