im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
