you win again, gameday.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
How external is "for external use only"?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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