Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
