It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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