the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
