I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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