Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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