You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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