is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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