Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
