I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
