4 words: hood of his car
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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