you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
