Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
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I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?