I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
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We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome