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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.

  Fav 4 966 2273

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry

  Fav 10 1065 4819

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.

  Fav 9 4684 898

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• (408): View more from California

  Maybe my heart is located in my vagina

  Fav 18 5716 1579

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• 

  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen

  Fav 7 4025 1038

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?

  Fav 5 2207 1123

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...

  Fav 2 911 640

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.

  Fav 14 1805 962

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.

  Fav 3 426 745

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• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  We need to make tonight low-budget

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Is this your way of suggesting flasks?

  Fav 1 966 501

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.

  Fav 1 602 379

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• (903): View more from Texas

  THEYRE FUCKING GOLD

  (1-903): View more from Texas

  Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are

  Fav 1 447 141

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him

  Fav 1 52 18

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.

  (1-905): View more from Ontario

  Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.

  (905): View more from Ontario

  But I want to be Keith.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome

  Fav 2 59 10

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