A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just wanna be euthanized
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.