I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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