Your tits are I can't wait for
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
