So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
