Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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