hotel room ftw
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
