would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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