She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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