bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
