So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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