and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
