No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
