biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
