you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
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Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
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Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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