trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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