Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
