masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
