Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
