very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
