This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
