I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
