O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
