You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
