dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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