I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
