just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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