I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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