I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize