Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I forget how to act sober
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