so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
